Dear Abby

Dear Abby,


I'm writing again because you still haven't acknowledged the hurt you caused the loss community with your heartless reply to "Crystal" on June 7, 2019.


You seem to think a still birth, the loss of a beloved child, is something that can be gotten over. Well, I am here to tell you how very wrong you are.


Imagine never knowing the color of your child's eyes. The sound of their voice. The color of their hair. Imagine, after carrying a much loved, much wanted child for 9 months only to give birth to a silent room. No new born cries. No congratulations. Just silence. And a soul crushing grief.


Now imagine carrying that grief day after day and instead of support you are told your lifestyle is morbid. That you should seek counseling. That you should be over it. Basically, being told your grief is misplaced and wrong.


Let me tell you what years of therapy after the loss of my daughter have taught me. My grief, the same grief that all loss parents carry day in and day out is normal. It's expected. It's ok. We aren't morbid as you suggested. We are parents that will love our children, living and dead until the day we die. There is no timeframe for our grief. It doesn't have to end because it makes you or other uncomfortable. We don't need you or anyone else to say "Time's Up, Grieiving Over."


What we need is support. And love and compassion. We need to know that YOU know our babies mattered. We need to hear their names on someone else's lips besides our own. To know the world has not forgotten them. We love them. We will always love them.


And you should be ashamed of your response.


Hannah's Mom