A Thank You

I can't believe a whole year has passed since we last held Hannah. It's been wildly fast and tortuously slow at the same time. On one hand, passing the one year mark is a relief. Now we can officially say those awful "first" milestones are done! No more first Christmas, first Easter, or the worst, first Mother's Day. We got through it all and we are still standing. True, some days we stumble, but we still stand.

Then again, passing the one year mark makes Hannah feel so very far away. Slipping further from our daily lives with each passing day.

The day before the anniversary of her death, we had a carefully chosen group of local friends over for a balloon release to pay tribute to Hannah and to the people who have been amazingly supportive during this crazy year. (Again, I stress local. There are so many friends who live far away that have shown their support time and time again and I would NEVER want to leave you guys out of this tribute! Patti, Becca, Ami, Jenny, Martha, Pam just to name a few. And I know I am leaving more out than I am mentioning but Baby Elvin #3 is sucking all the brain power from me right now. Plus it's dinner time and I have a hangry preschooler yelling about hotdogs. As soon as I hit publish I will remember your names and messages and love and feel awful. So let me apologize in advance!)

So we had this group over and we hired a photographer to capture the moment and I can't wait to see the pictures. Because while I know I was sad and grieving, what I remember most about that day was the love. Being surrounded by you all (in spirit and in person). You showed up in droves, with flowers and hugs and sweet butterfly mementos and you remembered Hannah. You used her name, you showed that she is not forgotten and that she matters. And that made all the difference. You got me over this milestone, over many milestones. I feel humbled and grateful and loved and amazed. I don't know what I did to deserve you all (actually I am pretty sure I don't deserve you all) and I am so incredibly thankful for you all. You are truly amazing and I thank you from the very bottom of my heart.